We don't publish submissions anymore. Actually, we don't do much of anything anymore. We're gone, John!*

Here are our old submission guidelines, though, because we're too lazy to delete them.

Submission guidelines!

Hello, and welcome to the submission guidelines.


We get a lot of submissions here at The Muskrat. We used to print just about anything that was submitted to us, but then we got a bunch of submissions we thought were either not funny, too self-referential, or just plain frightening. Sometimes things frighten us so much that we just don't want to think about them. Naturally, in that case they end up not being printed, and we cry for a while. Anyway, if you send us something and it appeals to us, we'll probably print it, unless we get distracted.



We usually put out an issue on Sundays, AKA Mondays. If'n you want your submission to be in the next issue, submit it before midnight FST on Saturday—that is, the beginning of Sunday. If we get it after that it'll go in the issue following the next issue, which is, like, the next next issue, or something.



Articles should look something like the kind of thing you'd read in a newspaper, except about Furcadia and hopefully funny maybe. Try not to write about yourself much, if at all. That's vain, unlike El Borracho, who is totally awesome in every way. There isn't really a word limit, but it shouldn't be really really long, ifyouknowwhatImean. Also, we will correct your horrible grammar and spelling (like "ifyouknowwhatImean").



You can include an image with your article, or you can just send us an image and maybe we'll write something funny about it and everyone will laugh. If you're sending us a Furcadia screenshot, please don't send a JPG, because JPGs hate Furcadia. GIF or PNG format is good for screenshots, but not GIFs if you're using Paint, because Paint hates GIFs. IrfanView's a tool for converting images that The Other Guy likes. El Borracho prefers GIMP, because he's drunk. You can just send us the entire screenshot if you want and we'll mess with it. Actually, we'll probably mess with most images. Images need to be at most 460 or 240 or 221 pixels in width, depending on where we put them, but we'll take care of that; it's just something to keep in mind, or something. We don't really care.



Sometimes we respond to your e-mail, and other times we don't. We're really inconsistent about that.


Our Email Address Again

Send stuff to


* If your name is not John, you are legally obligated to change it to John immediately.