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5:00¢

MANFLESH

VOL. 8

SUNDAY, JUNE 18, 2006

Yet another radio station

After a heated dispute with Nitemyste over whose fault the radio war was, former Nite Radio bureaucrat Xxysthstris has launched his own Furcadian radio station. It has been christened (or mohammedened, or whatever) Howl Radio and reportedly has fewer listeners than Nite Radio, although that's probably impossible. This has not discouraged Xxysthstris from playing an esoteric plethora (plĕth′ər-ə) of music, ranging from Disturbed to Little Richard to the sound of Xxysthstris's own tortured heavy breathing. Also prominently featured are long silences that confuse the listener into thinking their connection has died. But it hasn't. You're still downloading meaningless bytes.

When asked to comment on his plans for the future of Howl Radio, Xxysthstris shouted incoherently, "Wacky boice?" Our reporter became too confused by Xxysthstris's statement to continue the interview.

 

Beekin quiz a success

After the vote was tallied, the Beekin Quiz created by The Muskrat was determined to be 100% accurate, to the surprise of none, except Youlanda, who was totally freaked out. The quiz results completely adhere to the distribution of actual beekins.

The mentors, for example, scored the highest by far, at a whopping 27.6%! The real beekin mentors also have the most members of any group, with a similar percentage!

 

Poetry corner

We are sensitive guys who appreciate poetry and touchy-feely crap, so we're giving a "poetry corner" a shot. Yes, this is a corner. Our first (and probably last) poem is by the kid who fetches our coffee.

Ode to Furcadia

Oh, Furcadia

I love you so

Just like the black depths of my soul

Wait, that doesn't make any sense

Anyway

Furcadia,

If I were rubber and you were glue

Would whatever I said bounce off you and stick to me?

Maybe it's the other way around

Furcadia, you are so great

Like that '98 Cabernet Sauvignon I just ate

Not that you can eat wine

Unless it's frozen or something

The end.

 

Alts for sale

The following alts are for sale. We are accepting first-born sons. Don't bother trying to send us second- or third-borns; we can tell the difference.

 

LMAO

Washtub McGee

Clap Your Hands Say What?

Creepy Mr. Slippers

Michy Veinburst

lol ur mom

Hitler Was Misunderstood

Timmy The Chupacabra Slayer

 

the perverts are everywhere!

A photo taken by our embedded reporter Kiyi shows the extent to which adult movies have taken over in Naia Green.

FluFF Pit overrun with pornography

NAIA GREEN — Furres petitioned the beekins to put a stop to the rampant problem of pornography in the FluFF Pit. Pornographers have been coming to the area en masse recently, causing the area to no longer be family-friendly, except for really strange families. Slavawry Inswept, a 3,000-year-old demoness and mother of four hundred "children", said, "I'm sick and tired of smut peddlers taking up the areas where it was once safe to roam. I'm also literally sick and tired, since I haven't slept in five years and I have malaria."

Slavawry added, "If my mom found out about the adult movies, she'd flip out."

Slavawry's mother was busy plucking her tonguehair and was unavailable for comment.

The FluFF Pit was originally intended to be a friendly, peaceful area for finding people with the same interests. The very name "FluFF" supposedly stands for "Furcadia Friend Finder", though this is of course impossible. Some linguists have theorized that it really stands for "Furcadian Lustful Urge Fulfillment Finder," or "Flailing Leprechaun Ulcer Fighting Fleet."

In response, DEP has recently made some changes to its Parent Letter, adding phrases like "rampant pornography everywhere," "wild, unprotected copulation," and "your children will grow up to be prostitutes."

 

New comic strip series!

Because of the recent popularity of cutting-edge comic strips (or "funnies," for those of you with low standards) like Krazy Kat and Dick Tracy, we've decided to bring you our very own comic strip, The Adventures of Guardianman.

This excellent comic strip is a heroic saga that takes place on the planets Owsla and Furcadia. Don't be fooled by its "hyooman"-like characters, they're really furres.

The comic strip will be serialized in every issue of The Muskrat until the artist dies (which will be any day now).

A mysterious athletic pervert is introduced