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I'M HAPPY

VOL. 15

MONDAY, AUGUST 7, 2006

The Muskrat mailing list unveiled

The Muskrat readers everywhere rejoiced right now with the news of a mailing list being created for their benefit. This mailing list will send weekly notifications the minute new issues are finished. And maybe some other stuff, we have no idea.

How easy is it to subscribe? It's so easy that a person who would normally have trouble with very simple tasks, possibly an infant, would be able to accomplish the act of subscribing. THAT'S HOW EASY IT IS! Just go to THIS PAGE!

 

Furcadia adds spellchecker

Just in time for the upcoming update (which is coming soon! No, really!), a spellchecker has been added to Furcadia's growing arsenal of text-corrupting thingamajigs. Now even the least literate furre will be able to communicate effectively! For example, if someone says "i am definately 1337 wit mah new digos", it will be transformed into the more correctly-spelled "I am defiantly late, white man. New dingos!"

Swear filter gets some improvements

Along with the spellchecker, a few changes have been made to the swear filter in order to make Furcadia even more family-friendly. (Here, "family" is defined as "a group of middle-class Americans, none of whom are between the ages of 13 and 40.") Words now censored include "damn," "darn," "heck," and "fajita," as well as often-overlooked racial epithets "wop," "frog," "cracker," and "furry." If Furcadia doesn't look out for these persecuted people, who will? Not me, that's for sure.

 

o.o? >>... << >> x)

o.o? >>... << >> x) ... =O! ><! =( =(... =/... >_>... =). O.o; ... o.O... o.o; O.O; O_O! <<! ^^';;; >>;; ~.~... o.o!? ;_;... ;.; ;.; ;.;... :(... u.u... >=/ >=) >O! >O >O >O! !! << >> >:( >_<;;; >< >< >< x.o x.x x_x X_X! X____X;;;

That was sheer nonsense

Yes, it was. It was submitted to us by Soviet secret agent Ahezhara. Realizing it was in code, our cryptology department (a dying houseplant) was set upon the task of decrypting it. The decoded article follows below:

 

Alts for sale

The following alts are for sale. We want gold for them. Bags and bags of gold.

 

HTML

The_Rrrrgh

Barbiturates

Dreamless Breakdancer

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Vixen Sexybladder

Muscular Hunkman Sharon

Glug Blurp I Am Drowning Glurp

raG

huh?

Ahezhara's slightly confusing depiction of the M'Rill Festival. Click to enlarge its sketchy glory.

M'Rill festival still exists

VINCA NEXUS — Despite the lack of interest, the M'Rill festival is still up and running. Attracting high traffic on the first day it was up, the festival dream now averages between 0 and -3 visitors per hour. Reportedly, this has made M'Rill very sad. Not even getting high on catnip in her secret catnip patch has been able to cheer her up.

"Why won't they come see me?" M'Rill whined in a telephone interview. "I'll give them treasure!"

But furres do not want treasure.

To find out what they want, our reporter set out to ask the opinion of the man in the street. The first person interviewed was 19th century French Impressionist painter Alabaster Sea. "I am not a man, you silly goose," said Sea. The second interviewee, insane evil villain Tybalt, shouted, "I'm not in the street, you furry!" The third person our reporter interviewed said "Well, speaking as a man in the street," before he was suddenly transported away for standing in the street too long.

 
Today's lesson is on Criminology