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VOL. 44

TUESDAY, MARCH 20, 2007

Furcadia forums encourage capitalism

Furcadia, champion of the poor and freeloading, became a monstrosity of greedy, filthy capitalism last Friday. Actually, it was almost a month ago, but we only sent a reporter to investigate last Friday.

Yes, the Furcadia forums have opened two new areas just for money-grubbing and… uh… evil. What motivated Dragon’s Eye Productions to corrupt their innocent, trusting community? Was it sadistic cruelty? Was it their cold, unfeeling robot hearts?

Or were they merely copying Furcadia Alt Market? Narnia, one of the frightened, disturbed creatures that call that nightmarish ghetto home says yes. “They may have stolen our idea, but they will never steal our identity! Unless, I guess, the person we bought the identity from tells the Guardians that we scammed it off them, in which case I suppose the Guardians would take our identity too, because it’s not possible to sell ownership of an identity at this time, or something,” shouted Narnia in a rousing speech that worked the FAM-folk into a violent, unstoppable rage.

Luckily, Guardian consul Cironir managed to calm the bloodlusting FAMales with a sparkly ribbon, which they spent hours batting at mindlessly. They all went to bed then, because they are all apparently 36 years old (according to their ‘Joined’ date), and had work in the morning.