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EEK

VOL. 49

SATURDAY, APRIL 28, 2007

A bunch of namedropping

Wonder how many times you were mentioned in The Muskrat? Well, for you, none.

Wonder how many times other people were mentioned in The Muskrat? Then step right up!!

We bring you a list of all the people ever mentioned in The Muskrat. Well, almost all of them. We may have missed a few. We're only human, after all. Oops, I think I just outed us... THAT'S RIGHT, WE'VE BEEN HUMANS ALL THIS TIME! HAHAHAHAHAHAHahaha...

Anyway...

All the people listed below are now famous, because of us. They're arranged by most popular to least popular. Are you not one of the popular kids? That's because your hair is so 90s. Get with the program, nerd.

This idea was NOT blatantly ripped off of Randomism.

 

Real(?) people

Felorin - 68

Emerald Flame - 35

Talzhemir - 27

El Borracho - 25

Cironir - 24

Gar - 22

Kiyichichi - 16

Damadar - 16

sanctimonious - 11

Youlanda - 10

Cinder Bear - 9

NiteMyste - 9

Ydalv/The Other Guy - 9

Leah - 7

Kittyloaf - 7

The Masked Elf - 6

Auora - 6

Chaos Nake - 6

Xxysthstris - 6

Honcho - 5

Moynelle - 5

Chibi Edward - 5

An Anonymous - 5

Matthew - 4

Deja Greycloud - 4

Ahezhara - 4

Masterdeeds - 3

Hell's Offspring - 3

Farrier - 3

Shinichi Kudo - 3

xPi - 3

Cruncher - 3

JackClaw - 3

Lizfang - 2

Nikodemus - 2

Karozoa - 2

Indigo Nightfall - 2

Bahamut - 2

Cosmos - 2

The_Rg - 2

Master Configuration - 2

Tybalt - 2

SpamCannon - 2

Ghost Tiger - 2

Drancron - 2

Comic Entendre - 2

Rei-Jin - 2

Sade - 2

Foxicity - 2

Alatariel - 2

Carrie O'Kaye - 2

Natural1985 - 2

Cluracan - 2

Definated - 2

Loomin Rauko - 2

Pods - 2

Eig - 2

Spyware - 2

Narnia - 2

Psy - 2

Terra Wolf - 2

Wolfpawz - 2

Horl-Bajir - 2

Dookia - 2

Simseth - 2

HCl - 1

Minx - 1

Simon Potter - 1

Rammstein - 1

hugin - 1

Naeva - 1

Morgan - 1

Glen - 1

Beekin - 1

Rose - 1

Abbi - 1

Glasses - 1

Monocle - 1

Kiwi Lemon - 1

Dwapook - 1

Ona - 1

Ree - 1

Master Socket - 1

Cloudpaw - 1

Riv - 1

Anubis - 1

Sarsi - 1

Zang Jian - 1

Ayeka - 1

DJ Outlaw - 1

Mandaliet - 1

Clawz - 1

Tia - 1

Alabaster Sea - 1

Chipper Longtail - 1

Spooky B. - 1

Romeo - 1

Courie - 1

Larzuk - 1

Tarquin Lightfoot - 1

Reko - 1

Jessa - 1

Sacrid Mace - 1

Calto - 1

Madrian Vernuck - 1

Victoriana Maskuvetz - 1

Baci Cuore - 1

Ezzel - 1

Optical Illusion - 1

BlkJay - 1

Hazzel - 1

Zeyden - 1

Cho Satoshi - 1

Talina Greyfoot - 1

Sophie Ryan - 1

Hanabi - 1

Dotness - 1

FoozyCat - 1

Eternally Dusk - 1

Heathen - 1

Just a Furre - 1

shadownoah - 1

Deciar - 1

pyro claw - 1

The Muskrat - 1

Dwindlin - 1

Hegemony - 1

Oamey - 1

Entropy Serpent - 1

Myles Callum - 1

Varick - 1

Tristus - 1

Pwwka - 1

Aeon Lorus - 1

Hikari Ravenfeather - 1

Var Blacksmith - 1

Drake Osiris - 1

Spunge bob - 1

Ridia - 1

Crucified - 1

Sky's Sea - 1

Orion - 1

Cutefangs - 1

Wani - 1

Kiwi - 1

Ree - 1

Moni - 1

Hamlet - 1

A MOOSE FROM SPACE - 1

Edward - 1

Turquoise - 1

Crystal - 1

Alabar - 1

Synthetic Heaven - 1

Boily - 1

Larasinn - 1

Tycoon - 1

Amalthea - 1

Gin Blossom - 1

Kinsem - 1

A Nonny Mouse - 1

gyerfry - 1

Sugar - 1

Pondering - 1

Nash - 1

Barry - 1

Sandstorm - 1

Heterosexual - 1

Alex-Makoshi - 1

Kimbley - 1

Archer - 1

Ancient Wizard - 1

Hikaru - 1

Kaoru Hitachiin - 1

wottyy - 1

Sngel - 1

Kuni Zyrekai - 1

NBA - 1

kgj - 1

Griff - 1

Ryo - 1

Baci - 1

Sorcy - 1

Raz - 1

Jesto - 1

Friendly Sammy - 1

Dalmad Cronos - 1

Absolutely Fabulous - 1

Chris Lowe - 1

Fish Farm - 1

Black Clover - 1

Kreegar Yin-Sloth - 1

Gethsemane - 1

Napster - 1

Ady - 1

Looke - 1

Toyo - 1

Toothpaste Bandit - 1

Kneph - 1

Butterball - 1

Eric - 1

Joe Fundie - 1

Tom Reynolds - 1

I.D.S. Moon Hound - 1

Tattered soul - 1

BloodDust Izishi - 1

Shabaka Tabar - 1

Jag - 1

Narag - 1

Nitrogen Rx - 1

Bingo Roaming - 1

Squeeakers - 1

Rude Unrar - 1

Edward Elric - 1

Ecu - 1

karnal - 1

Zelle - 1

Avatan - 1

Guardahombre - 1

Hunter S. Tomcat - 1

cURRIA - 1

Billie - 1

Sigh - 1

Fake people

Tawny Silverpaws (and variants) - 46

Vlady - 3

Hamnet - 1

LauraSquirrel92 - 1

harry_boy - 1

Draco Sorrow - 1

Elmira Blackdarkdeath - 1

Hans Christian Andersen - 1

Franklin Deleanor Rosenfeld - 1

Nell Norracho - 1

Gag Halfrunt - 1

Stabicab - 1

Beav Sherwin - 1

Dr. Vel O'Cyraptor - 1

Spring - 1

Bob the Blob - 1

Ahkeelyou - 1

Genital Soul - 1

Dillpook - 1

Johann Obliterati - 1

Yakky Spitz - 1

Li'l Spots - 1

Linus the Magnifico - 1

Billy Bob Joe Ray Bobbie Bill - 1

Professor McFancyPants - 1

Aaaa Aaaaaa - 1

Bbbb Bbbbbbb - 1

Frag Lip - 1

 

Alts for sale

We will pay you to $10 take the following worthless alts from us. I don't know what we were thinking. They're the worst names ever.

 

The Muskrat

El Borracho

The Other Guy

A letter from the editors

Good evening. As you may have read, last week's issue was the final one. It ended there, and that was the end of The Muskrat. We're totally quitting Furcadia.

Therefore, you may be surprised to see another issue here, some days later, even though we said there'd be one. We could not end The Muskrat without one final word, or even a few hundred final words. Therefore, our lawyers advised us to make one more issue, but have it be so radically different in content that it might not technically be considered an "issue".

So that's what we did.

In this issue you'll find a bunch of stuff. Just like every issue, some of it is funny, and some of it is horrible, horrible trash. Horrible. Euuchh.

Just kidding. As usual, every sentence, word, and letter is the funniest thing that has ever happened to Furcadia, and indeed the whole world... not that the world outside of Furcadia is worth anything.

But the main difference in this issue is that everything is completely different. Yeah.

Anyway, we thank all of the reporters and photojournalists who contributed

words, pictures, sounds, and ideas to The Muskrat. Without them, The Muskrat wouldn't have lasted as long or be nearly as interesting. We couldn't have done it without you guys! We love you SO MUCH!!! I told myself I wasn't going to cry...

Oh, good, I didn't. That would have been embarrassing.

Just like we blatantly ripped off Randomism, hopefully someone will rip us off someday. That would be awesome. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, according to some guy, and we love flattery like a second cousin. Our egos are really not big enough.

Uh. So, thanks for reading, giving feedback , and not sending highly trained ninja beekins to assassinate us. And don't be surprised if vague, unexplained "things" continue to happen around here, sometime in the future.

Until then, maybe you can check out the archives and read some old issues and see things you didn't notice before. We promise to keep this website up forever, or at least until our domain name expires again.

The Muskrat is dead! Long live The Muskrat!

 

– El Borracho and The Other Guy

 

How The Muskrat is made

The following is an exclusive behind-the-scenes look at how this illustrious and near-godlike newspaper is made. Including real-life photographs of the editors hard at work! Now you can learn how to make your very own newspaper, like the pros!

 

Monday

Garfield hates Mondays, but who cares what that stupid guy thinks, anyway?!

The Muskrat staff begins their work bright and early on Monday morning, starting by researching local news. They must begin work on the next issue at the very beginning of the week in order to meet the strict deadline of Sunday. If they do not meet the deadline, they are whipped soundly by Emerald Flame.

 

Tuesday

Two's Day is the day of twos. Duh.

Here we see The Muskrat staff no longer working actively on The Muskrat. The Other Guy examines his fingernails, wondering if he should clip them soon. El Borracho smirks as he remembers a funny joke he saw on television once. Perhaps he saw it on The Colbert Report, or perhaps another show entirely. Who can fathom these two mysterious minds?

 

Wednesday

If people pronounced Wednesday the way it is spelled, war would break out everywhere. Also zits.

Procrastination is an essential part of the process. Here pictured we see the The Other Guy listening to music while El Borracho consumes alcohol at an alarming rate. El Borracho's tongue appears to be outside of his mouth in this picture. This is a crucial detail, which determines the entire success of the next issue.

 

Thursday

Thor's Day: why don't we worship the Viking god of thunder on his day? WHY DON'T WE?!

On Thursday, the editorial staff works tirelessly on the task at hand: procrastination. The Other Guy reads an interesting book while El Borracho's liver valiantly fights for survival. Albert Einstein observes the scene with mild disapproval.

 

Friday

Friday is of course the day when french fried potatoes are served. It should be noted, however, that french fried potatoes are originally from Belgium, not France. Therefore, you must not call them 'french fries' in the company of a French individual, because they will take great offense, and may indeed put out their cigarrette on your hand.

Here we see The Muskrat's editors continuing their concientious efforts. Procrastination is a difficult task that takes days to complete. The Other Guy happily reads in this picture, while El Borracho attempts to sleep off the effects of alcohol poisoning, or he is dead. It is difficult to tell.

 

Saturday

Saturday Night Live used to be a good show. Meh, I suppose sometimes it's funny still, but. I don't know. Most of the time it's not. What do YOU think?

On Saturday, The Other Guy reminds El Borracho of the time. El Borracho usually reacts dramatically to this news. At this point there are less than two days to complete the next issue. Unfortunately, all of Saturday is spent pointing out the time and reacting to it. Saturday is not a productive day.

 

Sunday

I like sundaes. That is all.

Sunday is a long day. They usually do not meet the deadline, and Emerald Flame gets to have some fun.

 

Search strings

These are actual search strings that have been used to find themuskrat.org. What do they say about our audience? What do they say about us?

Nothing, of course.

 

muskrat poisons

furcadia is a jerk

furcadia creepy

furcadia secret sex room

furcadia yiff command

burnt ice toyo walter slovotsky

answers to beekin application

plantation bdsm cotton

felorin boobs

sexy herms

cironir real image

aardvark pinot noir

nap eaten by giant snake

dripping fat

screaming beekin

 

(I swear I'm not making these up)

The Muskrat isn't very eloquent, is she? (he... it...)
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