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VOL. 16

MONDAY, AUGUST 14, 2006

WFUR explodes violently

FURRABIAN NIGHTS — WFUR Furcadia Radio, the popular internet radio station, was leveled on Thursday by a pookiebomb planted inside WFUR headquarters, Guardians say.

The explosion injured several and claimed the life of owner Deja Greycloud. Witnesses say she was “propelled through the air by the blast, almost like she was flying, hit the ground, and turned into hundreds of bats, which flew away.”

DANGER EXPLOSION

The explosion.

The pookiebomb is believed to have destroyed the building by radiating powerful waves of love through an amplifier. It is widely known that love was poisonous to Furcadia Radio DJs, who thrived on anger, ranting, and angsty music. The few survivors of the love explosion have been transformed. Chipper Longtail, one of the survivors, was quoted as saying, “I love everything and everyone! Hugs for all!”

Rumors that WFUR is back up, or that Deja Greycloud is still very much alive, are nothing more than rumors. If we say it, it must be true. You will believe whatever we tell you.