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VOL. 31

MONDAY, DECEMBER 11, 2006

Town Meeting lasts far too long

On Saturday, two hundred Silver Sponsors waited in the Town Meeting dream for an hour, exchanging cookies and complimenting DEP members. Excitedly they waited for the meeting to begin.

In a small, disheveled shack in Texas, chaos reigned. Felorin and Emerald Flame wrestled frantically with computers, trying to reboot their computers that once were "top of the line" ...in 1995. Emerald Flame quickly became frustrated and violent, and reduced Gar to tears twice with her strong language. Finally, everything was working. And then the 2006 Town Meeting started.

Because our web host only has 100 GB free, you'll have to read the logfile on Furcadia's website... or at least you can when they post it, which should be within a few months (unless it takes longer).

The first part, which lasted two hours, consisted of Felorin and Emerald Flame talking about WUAAAAGGHHHH!!!!! PUS MONSTERS!!!! PUS MONSTERS IN MY BRASSIERE!!! KILLING, LOOTING, AND PILLAGING!!!!

 

Sorry. I was just trying to spice up this article. The Town Meeting was pretty boring. What can I say? The entire six-hour-long meeting can be summed up into two topics: talking about the update, and random furres proposing to other random furres.

For more coverage, we continue with an article by Hell's Offspring.

 

Typo demons invade DEP

By Hell's Offspring

Spreading secrets fig. 1

Emerald Flame and Felorin glare at the opposition.
Click for the real picture.

Spreading secrets fig. 2

A typical furre observes the proceedings.
You know the drill.

Spreading secrets fig. 3

Can this be love?
You do know it, don't you?

Sitting in the Town Meeting munching on some popcorn one afternoon, watching Emerald Flame as she wanders over... when unexpectedly a demon rushed out of the bushes and attacks her words, making her have a typo. We call these Typo Demons.

Later on we find that another one had crawled into Felorin's sleeve and chewed up one of his origami dragons, making it fall from his sleeve, and then making him typo as well.

What has come over the world of Furcadia; are demons taking over? Watch your arms, one day a Typo Demon may catch you!

Hell's Offspring is a chartered accountant from Hell, Michigan. She enjoys knitting cardigan sweaters from human hair in her spare time, and owns three hundred barbie dolls, all with severed heads.

 

Visit Allegria, furre urges

The Muskrat has to wear that so he won't chew on his stitches

Click for noises

The Masked Elf has inhaled a tank of helium and recorded a public service announcement just for you, the reader.

This PSA urges you to visit Allegria Island, and discover all the magical wonders therein. It is terrifyingly cute and/or annoying.

There's no transcript this time. That would be cheating.

Enjoy!

 

Gar admits lust for Felorin

The following quote is from the Town Meeting.


[E] Felorin: Gar asks, "Felorin, is the real reason the update is late because you're way too busy... being delicious?"

This announcement of Gar's love for Felorin shocked every Furcadian to his or her or its core (except for Emerald Flame, who "always suspected something"). Felorin responded to Gar's suggestive question with "Yes, I WILL marry you!"... which is not what Gar asked at all.

A New Jersey wedding is set for the summer of 2007, although it may take as long as spring of 2008.

 

Did you know?

Did you know that Furcadia's first film, The Great Furre Escape, was praised by critics but did poorly at the box office?

 

Alts for sale

We're selling the following alts for one million dollars (each). A great stocking stuffer!

 

Take Off Every Sigmund Freud

Furc Hater

Felorin is Dead  -Nietzsche

Explosions, fireworks

Hannukah Claus

 

Secret Town Meeting photos leaked to press

Our undercover journalist Masterdeeds was able to sneak a camera into the Silver Sponsors-only Town Meeting. He took a lot of pictures.

Some of the pictures showed snippets of Masterdeeds's passionate whisper conversations with Cosmos, but they have been censored. Cosmos and Masterdeeds are trying to keep their affair completely secret from everybody. If word got out, they would probably kill me, and then each other, and then they had brunch. They dined on slices of quince with a runcible spoon.

Anyway, here are the screenshots, that Masterdeeds died for. You better enjoy them, you insensitive jerk.

 

one!
The fairy was quickly killed by the minotaur.
two!
Look, Felorin is capable of errors!
five!
Afterward, Gar was forced to clean up the guano.
three, sir!
I like plants.
three!
I like colors.
aahhhh
What's that green thing?
aahhhhhhhhh
Emerald Flame was decapitated.
ahhhhh
The Masked Elf is getting a pay raise.
ahhhhhhhhhhhhh
Felorin is large.
O Lord, bless this, Thy hand grenade, that with it, Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits... in Thy mercy.
Talzhemir and Felorin's children, Talzina and Felbert. Emerald Flame is still in the dark about them.
this space for rent this space for rent
 
Furry the fairy, indeed.

The kiwis caused great panic and confusion in Naia. But gradually, it was discovered that they are small, flightless, really weak, and taste good on crackers.

Chaos breaks out in Naia

By Pods

"[N] Beekin reports: Kiwi rapage [sic] in Naia, film at 11!" Those words started this terrible scene in Naia, at approx. 10 FST. With the new release of the kiwi avatars, everybody was in a panicked frenzy, and decided to go to Naia.

"What the heck is happening?!" cried a distressed Boily. "It's not until 11 PM! IT'S ONLY TEN!" Young Boily was not the only one to ask this question, for it was on the minds of everyone involved. And this reporter has the answer.

"It's really quite simple," explained the wonderfully attractive and artistic Pods, nodding wisely and in enjoyment at being quoted in third person in her own article. "You see, furres are idiots! That or perhaps it was because whoever posted the Beekin Report forgot to put 'FST' after '11'!"

It makes perfect sense now! But nobody seemed to listen to those of reason, like Boily. In fact, Moynelle stated, "It's becoming like AI!" And the now-insane-due-to-the-kiwis Larasinn exclaimed "GOONISHSCHLAGENHEIT" (whatever that means).

Unfortunately for everyone, this reporter, in the form of the infamous kiwi, was trampled on in this wild and crazy furre frenzy and had to be carried back to her home in Acropolis on a stretcher.

But in other news, the new kiwi avatar looks retarded in the cream fur color!

Pods is a critically acclaimed carnie from Frog Suck, Wyoming. She once drew a comic for The Muskrat, and fit six ping pong balls in her mouth at once. She lives with her two wives and several dozen children, all named Filbert (including the wives).

 
Emerald Flame: the center of Furcadia?

A crowd gathered to watch Felorin drool on Emerald Flame. They were not disappointed, and neither was Emerald Flame. Photo by Kiyichichi.

Wolf Howl winners announced

In case you cared, which you probably don't, the winners of the Wolf Howl festival were announced. *sigh*

For the dream contest, the team of Crystal and Alabar won first place in the Master category, and Terra Wolf won first place in the Regular category. Oamey and Synthetic Heaven tied for first place in the movie contest...

Whatever, it doesn't really matter. Nobody's going to read this far down the page anyway...

Why do I bother? Everything is useless... useless... my favorite only got honorable mention....

...

*heavy sigh*

....

*words between some asterisks*