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VOL. 34

TUESDAY, JANUARY 2, 2007

Furcadians rally in support of authority

This Saturday, hundreds, or at least dozens, of furres assembled for the largest demonstration Furcadia has ever seen. Their aim: to show support of authority, something loved by almost all residents of Furcadia (especially its large adolescent population).

Marching through the streets of Naia Green, the rallying furres carried colorful, heart-filled signs that said things like “WE #SO GUARDIANS” and “PLEASE TELL US WHAT TO DO”. One particularly radical female demonstrator streaked nude through Naia Green yelling “BREASTS FOR BEEKINS”. Eventually the rally clogged up the area and began taking with it furres who were trying to go the other direction but couldn’t get through.

One of the rally’s organizers was Splintsaw Yawrev, who loves authority to an even greater extent than most furres. However, as he told us, there are a few people who only love authority a little and therefore do not fully agree with his view of DEP. “Some furres have suggested that our adoration for those who make the rules has blinded us, making us overlook their alleged flaws and only see their good side. To them, I say, ‘YOU SUCK! SUCK! SUCKETY SUCK SUCK SUCK!'” Yawrev then began frothing at the mouth, and the marchers stopped briefly to wait for him to snap out of it.

DEP members Felorin and Talzhemir were stunned and overwhelmed by the marchers’ display of affection, as it was significantly greater than what they were used to (a gathering of furres that surrounds them whenever they go online, desperately hoping to receive just a glance from those they worship). Cironir was seen weeping tears of joy, his arms outstretched in euphoric bliss, as he watched the parade pass before him. However, he soon regained his senses and banned all of the marchers, to the delight of everyone.

Bahamut could not be reached for comment, as he was busy kissing Emerald Flame’s feet.