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VOL. 12

SUNDAY, JULY 16, 2006

Randomism ghost sighted

Randomism has resurfaced yet again, despite the remarkable handicap of having died three times before. The ghost has been witnessed possessing custodial workers, causing power disturbances, tossing breakable objects around the room, and generally making the janitor’s job really difficult. According to us, everybody hates Randomism and the mess it’s causing in our living room.

Archbishop Clawz, a spokesperson for The United Church of Order, shrieked, “We must exorcise the Randomism spirit from Furcadia forever.” “It creates chaos and upsets the balance,” calmly screamed Cardinal Vlady.

Naruto Ninja Academy has been enlisted to fight the evil ghost of website past, but so far the genin, chuunin, and jounin have all failed, and the lenin were too busy overthrowing the Russian government.

FuzzyRandom sympathists claim that Randomism is actually a friendly ghost, much like Casper, or Adolf Hitler (he’s totally different now!). They also claim that Randomism is still funnier than The Muskrat could ever hope to be. These lying traitors were promptly executed by lethal injection of donuts.

Local drunkard Tia was overheard in the street singing, “Looks like randomism loooooooove!!” Her singing was awful and her breath reeked of bourbon, so we didn’t stick around to ask what she meant.