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HEATHENS

VOL. 25

MONDAY, OCTOBER 23, 2006

Wolf Howl promises to be a great success

Wolf Howl: The festival of the year that all furres look forward to. This is when furres are encouraged to offer tricks, or possibly treats, in exchange for sweet digo prizes. A grand time is had by all, except you maybe. And this Wolf Howl looks to be the best of all. Why, you ask? Hold on, let me draw out the suspense a little more. ...and... okay, that's good.

High Priestess Emerald Flame, who is solely responsible for the existance of Furcadia, is organizing a movie contest.

This will assuredly will be a great success. Even though I have never heard of anyone making a movie about Furcadia (except that one), I'm sure they will! And they will be great. I, and by extension all of Furcadia, am eagerly anticipating seeing the contest entries. So make a movie for us! You have three days.

 

Trivia dream takes Furcadia by dangerous electrical storm

'HELP', the butler screams, as his mind is overwhelmed by the confusing, MUD-like skin.

Click to enlarge and see the lies!

ALLEGRIA ISLAND — A dream simply titled "Trivia" has become an overnight burning sensation in the upper torso of Furcadia. Created by dwarven miner lad xPi, it boasts more than 89 billion trivia questions chosen at random by the moody and disgruntled bot, xPod.

As for the bot, don't mind his minor bugs and the frequently wrong facts he spouts. He's just a normal furre like the rest of us, prone to mistakes.

"Trivia" by xPi is truly Bomberfurre for fact-obsessed nerds with way too much free time. It's awesome!

 

Did you know?

Did you know that Furcadia is the best?

~~MC~~
Myles|Callum
Master|Configuration
M
enstrual|Cycle

 

Alts for sale

We're selling the following alts for Lucy Liu's eyelashes.

 

Jooblie

Varick

Spontaneous Prostitution

Whee whee whee whee whee!!!!

Thrippity Doodah

Chevy Chase

John Belushi

Dan Aykroyd

Jane Curtin

Gilda Radner

Garrett Morris

Laraine Newman

Bill Murray

Al Franken

Tom Davis

Michael O'Donoghue

George Coe

Harry Shearer

Paul Shaffer

Don Novello

Alan Zweibel

Peter Aykroyd

Tom Schiller

Jim Downy

Brian Doyle-Murray

The Muskrat sues The Furc Funny News

A new Furcadia news website, The Furc Funny News, has suddenly been called into existence. The editors of The Muskrat, the newspaper you're currently holding (if you happen to have printed out a copy ), were naturally very upset about this as it is clearly an unauthorized copy of... you guessed it, The Muskrat.

"I am very drunk," said Muskrat editor El Borracho when reached for comment, which was surprisingly easy. "You have no idea how drunk I am. I mean, there's normal drunk, and then there's how drunk I am right now. I am like so much

way beyond that. Also, I hate this new newspaper."

The other editor, who goes by the mysterious and stupid name of "The Other Guy", disagreed. "Randomism was the first, not us. If anyone should sue them, it's that Janitor guy. Therefore, the ball is in your court, Janitor. Crush our competition! Crush them with your team of highly trained lawyer monkeys!"

Unknown to The Other Guy, The Muskrat is reported to already be suing The Furc Funny News for plagiarism and lost profits. The case is expected to drag on for months and moths (sic) until the parties settle out of court with a tragic, fatal, and hilarious swordfighting duel.

 

New "Banish" command makes everyone cry

Untold grief was brought upon Furcadia this week, or whenever it was that the "banish" command was put into effect. "I just can't believe this!" cried unnamed furre Blankety Blankblank. "I'm banishèd from all my favorite dreams! Banishèd!" Similar cries could be heard throughout Furcadia, many also containing archaic accent marks.

The negative reaction is such that DEP members are no longer able to walk alone in public places, after Talzhemir was pied 5 times. Mmm, pie. Felorin, in the midst of 30 armed body-

Bush sure needs a lot of bodyguards: http://cache.boston.com/bonzai-fba/AFP_Photo/2005/01/20/1106255091_0689.jpg

Felorin and Emerald Lane Welch Flame surrounded by their bodyguards. Full size.

guards, told me, "Wow, we never expected a reaction like this."

Then I shot him.

 

 

Damadar has snapped

By Arach Sal De Doboarmra

Apparently on Wednesday, October 18, 2006, some beekins, hoping to bring light into a lonely man's world, were viciously attacked by a raving lunatic. Damadar, a Mason beekin himself, has recently been exposed as a very lonely fellow.

In a heroic effort to cheer up and bring company into this lonely man's life, Beekins, such as Tristus (a guardian), Pwwka (who Damadar is often accused of mimicking), Foxicity (a recently elected Guardian-in-Training), and a bugge hunter named Definated (hunting the bugs in Damadar's soul, mayhaps?) invaded the empty Mycroft's bar in an effort to bring light into this dark corner of the world.

 

Yay!

Damadar surrounded by his new friends. Photo taken last week.

In return, they were given pure sorrow.

Damadar, instead of welcoming them into his bar with kind and open arms, lashed out and punched a nearby non-beekin named Loomin Rauko in the eye. Frail soon entered the mix, along with Moynelle, trying desperately to subdue him.

His rage was unable to be tamed, however, and eventually he ran away to hide in what is now being known as, "The fortress of Solitude."

When we got in touch with Damadar, he had this to say about the situation:

"Those freggin' interlopers think they can come in and muscle into my territory thinking that I needed to hear them talk about their stupid lives? Did I ask them to come in? Yes. Did I ask them to come in and talk about their stupid Halloween costumes and candy and their lives? NO! All I wanted was to feel a little less lonely by having some other people around that
would talk to me about things that I wanted to talk about, but noooo! They just had to go their own way. Well. Forget this! I'd rather be lonely."

After that brief and terrifying tirade (he had foam coming out of his mouth. We sent some off to the lab) he slammed the door of his Fortress on us, and hasn't been heard from since.

 

Aww...

Damadarwith no friends.
Photo taken today.

There are, however, reports of Damadar being seen in several locations, such as WFUR, headquarters of Furcadia Radio in Furrabian Nights, just north of the spawn point. Other reports say he has been seen testing things and plotting to take over Furcadia.

Talzhemir was not available to comment on this startling turn of events.


Arach Sal De Doboarmra (R-Florida) is writing for The Muskrat under a pseudonym, but his real name is this:
ARTHUR JACKSON
32a MILTON AVENUE
HOUNSLOW, MIDDLEYIFF