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29 toenails

GNARLY

VOL. 21

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 25, 2006

Only five days left for contest!

The deadline for The Muskrat writing contest is this Friday! That's only five days away... or maybe less, depending on when you're reading this! Subtract today's date from 30 and you'll know how long you have! (If you get a negative number, then sadly you're too late, and also you live in an alternate dimension where September has more than 30 days.) Hurry up and write, you lazy procrastinator!

Stay home from school. Tell your boss you have leprosy. Just write! WRITE LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT (it does).

 

Seriously, he might break his arm or something!

Write an article, or this man will jump! (You care, don't you?)

 

Felorin gets Ph.D.

Felorin, also known as Dr. Cat, recently completed his doctoral studies in anthropomorphology at the University of Naia Green. He will now be known as Dr. Dr. Cat. Yes, that was the whole point of this article. We're sorry.

 

Spamfest celebrated

We at The Muskrat are celebrating a momentous occasion.

On Friday, September 22, at 9:40 pm, we received our very first spam at, ironlikely, spam themuskrat.org. The spam email begins as follows (we're not making this up):

 

"you get to take (and impress cocktail party guests) Facade, Proxy, and Factory is so often misunderstood, more complex. more complex. alone..."

 

The spam was met with overjoyed applause and spontaneous ripping off of clothes by everyone present. Bringing out kegs of beer and chamomile tea, everyone got totally wasted and/or soothed. Two days later, the party continues, and it is unlikely to ever end. Never end... never... end....

You may notice our email links are now broken by cute little Flash @ symbols. This is our desperate attempt to end the madness. It threatens to overwhelm us at any moment.

It is believed that malfunctioning killer robot SpamCannon is the culprit. He will die.

 

Alts for sale

We're selling the following alts for cheese.

 

Satan's Pencil

Depression :D

Michagain

WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT

Jack Gray

Bark Monkey

Honcho, False Muskrat Lord

Vlady, False Muskrat Lord

Milli Vanilli, False Ice Cream Flavor

DON'T PANIC!

This is what Furcadia looks like now, thanks to Ghost Tiger.

Ghost Tiger ruins everything

Once again, Ghost Tiger went and ruined Furcadia for everyone. Predictably, Furcadians expressed annoyance at this ruining. "Not cool, man," said Avelawin Psstwryyyyyyy. "Not cool."

We were able to reach Ghost Tiger for

comment at a book signing for his bestselling novel, The Prophet Mousse.

"Yeah, so I ruined Furcadia somehow. Whatever!" noted Mr. Tiger. When asked if this was responsible behavior for a Dragon's Eye Productions employee, Ghost Tiger was shocked. "I'm DEP? When the furc did that happen?!"

 

Even more Guardianman comics?!?!!¿

Chibi Edward sent us another comic. This makes us happy because it means that lots of space is taken up and we didn't have to do anything.

You can tell we take our jobs seriously when we let six-year-olds draw for us.

If you're just joining us, The Adventures of Guardianman used to be an actual comic made by actual adults. It's probably better now.

Looks more like a burning city than a wild party to me....

The Muskrat: the newspaper of choice for connoisseurs of potty humor.™