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VOL. 29

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 26, 2006

GAR EXPOSED
Council member revealed to like pickles

The editors of the Muskrat (El Borracho and, um, The Muskrat?) recently had the opportunity to interview Gar, who apparently does something for DEP. We, or perhaps they, were shocked to find out that this respected member of the community is a pickle-liker. "Yeah, I like pickles," said Gar. "With my teeth. Ohhh yeahhhhh, baby."

"I can't believe this!" said Dillpook, a green cat who insists she's actually a pickle. "I thought Furcadia was a safe place for my kind!"

The horrible interview can be read here.

 

Fast food chain expands to Furcadia

ALLEGRIA ISLAND — Kentucky Fried Chicken, long the restaurant of choice for suicidal gluttons, has expanded its franchise to the Furcadian market.

KFC regional manager Stanislav Prewwy said, "It's a great market here in Furcadia. Those furres love eating our delicious fried birds, especially the Phoenixes, which is somewhat disturbing, but hey! It's business."

 

L. Ron Sanders will return!!!

Fried chickenflesh worshippers Barry and Alatariel pray to their false god, Colonel Sanders.

Competitors Taco Bell on Furcadia, McDonald's on Furcadia, and Starbucks on Furcadia are uneasy about the new competition KFC brings, especially since all four dreams are within 13 spaces of each other in Allegria Island.

 

Then he died.

A cook and a live chicken stare awkwardly at each other in the KFC kitchen.

Furcadian PETA members have already begun peacefully protesting the restaurant with arson and self-righteous killing sprees. These protests are expected to increase sales, said Prewwy happily.

Honcho was not available for comment.

 

Ahezhara explains it all

Are you one of the many Furcadians who wants to really, truly understand The Muskrat but has been unable to do so? Yes, you are.

Never fear. The splendiferous Ahezhara has created a diagram that reveals everything (the omnitude!). It displays The Muskrat's omnipotence, omniscience, and fur stained with the blood of millions.

Click that link above to see it, or I guess you can click here. Whatever.

 

Did you know?

Did you know that Furcadia is actually made out of Legos?

 

Alts for sale

We're selling the following alts for communism.

 

Stycks

Bahamen

Mackswell Slavermuppet

Joustin' StinCow

Dr. Worm

Mr. Worm

Mrs. Worm

Ms. Worm

Spackle Master

Eccentrica Hyperfur, The Triple-Breasted Furre of Furrabian Nights

The Cranberry Sauce Avenger

 

I once had an girlfriend who was a giant ant. She was pretty hot. She was into really freaky stuff in bed, though. *shudder*

Whoa, this is like a dream I had once. Except the ants were naked DEP members and the sandwich was a giant vat of pudding... I should probably not write this.

Giant sandwiches invade Furcadia

Our esteemed reporter The Masked Elf sent us a report, because that's what reporters do. This report is different, however, in that it is made up of sound waves or perhaps sound particles.

You can listen to his report by clicking on the image to your left and downloading a special type of file we invented called "mp3"... unless you don't have sound, or you're deaf.

Deaf people are fun. I can yell at them and they don't know.

Anyway, if you're one of those people or you just suck a lot, you can read a transcript of the report here.

 

Crossword continues to baffle

One day, several issues ago, The Muskrat had a crossword puzzle. The editors of The Muskrat (The Other Guy and The Other Other Guy) waited excitedly to see whose names would show up on the scoreboard. The staff of DEP finished the crossword, and then... no one else.

Needless to say, we at The Muskrat were sent into a deep depression following this. We climbed out of the depression only with the aid of a ladder provided by the Furcadia Fire Department (which doesn't actually exist).

Verily rescued, we then asked ourselves what went wrong. "What went wrong?" we wondered. "What went wrong??" we repeated, for emphasis.

It was considered that maybe the fault lay within ourselves. Did we make the questions too hard? It is possible! Then we remembered that it's much more gratifying to blame other people. Therefore, we decided that what really happened was that our readers just hate us and want us to be miserable, so they didn't bother trying. This makes us angry. How dare you, readers! How dare you! I AM BECOMING ANGRY!!

Anyway, you can see the answers here.

 
Moynelle is a sexy stick figure

An illustration of Moynelle's predicament, by some street artist named Ahezhara who wouldn't leave us alone, no matter how many dog biscuits we gave her.

Moynelle's problem

By Ahezhara

VINCA — Moynelle was found in Vincaland today with her badge fallen off (see picture) and this caused her much distress. Fortunately, while the Aerie was clearing out its storage rooms (which, by the way, contain lots of illegal creator badges that only top guardians and bugges and cleaners can lay their hands on), the unknown beekin group "Beekin Cleaner" was dumping old Aerie-things in the Vinca. One of these things was a convenient box of unsafe safety pins which Moynelle spotted.

Moynelle then took one of the safety pins and hooked her badge to her forehead once more and walked around the Vinca very happily.

However, El Borracho had something to say about this problem. "I am firmly against it. There's nothing worse than anti-custard propoganda, unless we're

talking about flan. The puddings of the world should be ashamed." Do not fear, El Borracho, for Moynelle is very ashamed indeed. Vijay agrees wholeheartedly with this statement. Damadar also agrees, although we think he just wants some custard for company. Ridia, Queen of AFKland, agreed with El Borracho on this controversial statement about Moynelle's behaviour. Crucified, on the other hand, was adamant that Moynelle had been right all along. We think Crucified and Moynelle are secretly in #SO.

Btw none of this happened lol

Ahezhara is a flamingo trainer and award-winning stick figure artist from Britishpersonland. She can be reached at:

Habbo Hotel, room 42
21 Jump St.
Superlambbanana, Neopia