take 2 candy


VOL. 26


The Muskrat dead, lecherous

Furcadia grieved this week when it became known that beloved newspaper The Muskrat is dead, and a loquacious letch.


Special effects!!!

The Muskrat's coffin, displayed in the Wolf Howl festival.

On the epitaph on The Muskrat's coffin is written, "Here lies The Muskrat, lies liberally laid on thick, this loquatious letch laid bare for all to see." It goes on to assert that "his lies [are] laid to rest."

Thousands of mourners probably wept openly in anguish at The Muskrat's passing, perhaps in a touching candlelight vigil.

Among the mourners was Felorin, The Muskrat's alt. So upset by the death of his hero, Felorin exploded into violent rage, and even went so far as to turn into a ferocious werewolf with bad posture.



Left to right (minus the useless commoners): sanctimonious, Felorin, Emerald Flame, a zombie spider muskrat, Gar.

Felorin had to be restrained from messily devouring a squirrel bot by court jester sanctimonious and trusted concubine Emerald Flame.

Let us all have a moment of silence for the passing of The Muskrat, the great, actually pretty mediocre, fake newspaper.


The Muskrat
2006 - 2006
Loved By Few


Did you know?

Did you know that the square root of π is approximately 1.772453850905516027 2981674833411451827975494561223871 2821380778985291128459103218137495 0656738544665416226823624282570666 2361528657244226025250937096027870 6846203769865310512284992517302895 0826228932095379267962800174639015 3514797205167001901852340185854469 7449491264031392177552590621640541 9332500906398407613733477475153433 6679897893658518364087954511651617 3876005906739343179133280985484624 8184902054654852195613251561647467 5150427387610561079961271072100603 7204448367236529661370809432349883 1668424213845709609120420427785778 0686947665700052183056851254133966 3694465418151071669388332194292935 7062268865224420542149948049920756 4863988748385059306402182140292858 1123306497894520362114907896228738 9403245978198513134871266512506293 2600446563821096750268124969305954 2046156076195221739152507020779275 8099054332900662223067614469661248 188743069978835205061464443?

Did you know that we just filled up a good five inches of space?


Mysterious muscular wolf attracts female furres, 2/3 of male furres

Heads were turned Saturday when a muscled, well-defined, bulging hottie streaked through Furcadia in a tight, water-soaked shirt. He stretched back slowly, his chiseled abs glistening in the cool October sun. Licking his lips, he —

Uh... that's the end of the article.


Alts for sale

We're selling the following alts for chewing gum that hasn't already been chewed.


Lord Foxworth III, Earl of Yiffingshire

Opium von Lotuseater

Lack of Ambition


The Calligrapher

Friggin' Talking Rabbit

Soul Shoveler

I Am Pretending To Be 18

Furres run away from the string. Also, there's apparently a fire somewhere.

String-sneezing dragon terrorizes Furcadia

Just when the Beekins thought Furcadia was finally safe for good, a new threat arrived. A giant dragon (much bigger than the average dragon, which is about twice the size of the average horse or mouse) arrived in Furcadia recently and began wreaking havoc on Furcadia's poor citizens, as well as its rich ones, but not its middle-class ones.

Initially, the large green dragon, who we will call Joe, showed up in Furcadia and started asking how to fight people. However, he soon figured out how things worked. The normal reaction to this is to leave Furcadia and never return, but for some reason he stuck around. In more ways that one. I think.

The first belligerent acts were reported about a week ago. No, wait, it was less than a week ago, which is why we didn't report about it in the last issue. Heh heh. The dragon, who we will call

Bob, began sneaking up on furres and screaming, "Swaagatam!" Our translators have been working on this for a long time but have no idea what that means. Needless to say, the victims of this screaming were startled and critically annoyed.

He didn't stop at that, though, as you may have guessed from the headline of this article. No, scaring furres wasn't enough for this mischievous dragon, who we will call Jason Priestly.

Soon he began sneaking up on furres and screaming, "Swaagatam!" Er, no, I said that already. Soon he began sneaking up on furres and, instead of screaming "Swaagatam!", started sneezing on them. Eewwww! The sneezed-upon furres were unhappy about this, but they also noticed something odd about the snot that was now covering them. On closer examination, it was discovered that the snot contained string. String! This dragon sneezes string! What a weirdo.


Favoritism in DEP?

By Masterdeeds

The Wolf Howl dream is up, and if you can get to Emerald Flame's Garden you will notice a bunch of sleeping furres. They are all DEP Associates (or in Leah's case, their shipping person), but, if you look closely, you will find they're missing one Associate. Yes, that's right, Farrier. For some odd reason they didn't put in the scruffy dog that very few people will recongise as the Bugge and Scribe Associate (probably because of the Scribes having no members and the Bugges having less than 20).

In any case, we have reason to believe that Emerald Flame is showing favoritism by not cursing Farrier into a nightmare-filled, neverending sleep like the rest of the Associates. Could it be that she is punishing (or rewarding) him?

Farrier (really a farrier?)

Farrier, hard at work.

for the recent loss of Scribes? Or could it be something more deeply rooted, like resentment of his 1337 h4x0r skillz?

Farrier, as usual, wasn't on Furcadia for us to get a comment from, and neither was Emerald Flame, so I have nothing more to write.

"Masterdeeds" isn't real, but if he or she was, he or she would be a reporter for The Muskrat. If he or she existed, he or she could be reached at (555) 555-1337, even though that phone number isn't real either.



Promotional comic created

We at The Muskrat were totally caught unaware by this comic by Pods. We didn't expect it at all. We certainly didn't command it with our iron fist. We don't even remember where our iron fist went.

Anyway, we shrank the comic down a bit, because that makes it more chibi and cute or something.

To see the full-size thing, you should go here (and say good things while you're there).